Batteries = Wow

Batteries - wow. We have these little cylinders that we have somehow packed with a thing that you can't hold. We then put these cylinders inside the special compartments of electronic devices which then come alive. They're like little hearts. Wow.

Toilets = Amazing

I developed a new appreciation for toilets last week. Anyone ever wonder why the plunger stays down until you flush and then it stays up? Brilliant idea. Toilets = amazing.

Happy Birthday Bentley Brooke Webster

My beautiful daughter-

There was once a closet that housed terrible Monsters who were, at one time, certain to devour me. A light was turned on in my room and I was given bravery to open its door. And though this was a treacherous task I, through eyes opened such that light could scarcely pass through, turned its door nob and peered into a room spacious and new. And this room is one that would be sufficient to clothe even the most blessed of men. That was 2 years ago this morning and I have loved living in it since. I love you Bentley Brooke Webster - Happy Birthday

Inevitable Pain And Relief Of Memory

We took Bentley to her preschool trunk or treat party last night (hence the costums). When we arrived she saw a boy who was about 3 or 4 years old dressed like a penguin and went over to say hi and look at his costum. The boy proceeded to push her away. She tried again to say hi and again he pushed her away and then ran off with his friends leaving Bentley there. Lets just say I don't think I've ever thought it was perfectly justified to drop kick a freakin' 3 year old across the room until last night. I about lost my mind... and tried to remember that we're all screwed up down here...

Where's My Pen?

Its time to start writing music... now I just need something to write...

Those Who Go Before Us

I had a pseudo rest day yesterday. I went to a coffee shop, had a vanilla chai sat on a couch and read some books. A man walked in with a face I recognized. As he sat down I said to him, "I don't remember your name but I know I know you". He said his name was Tom. I knew Tom from a church I used to go to. He worked with me in the children's church. We talked about his kids that were in the kids church when I was there. They were graduating from high school! Gees.

After we talked for while about that, he mentioned that he had some older children one of which had Lou Gehrig's disease. He spoke about his son's battles with this terrible disease. Once his son had died and the paramedics happened to have a doctor with them when they arrived who knew some special techniques to administer which brought him back to life. After that he was on a breathing machine for another 7 years before he died, 7 years that had not been promised to him... or us. As Tom spoke of his son's death I could see the tears gathering in his eyes, brimming but not overflowing. I could hear in his faulting voice the pain of losing his baby boy followed by his only hope - that he would see him again.

The Struggle: A Record of the Fight of My Life

Some are haunted by the general sense that God exists while others are haunted by the general sense that God does not exist.

In the darkness of a vanishing reality of God, deep conviction as a result of sin has the sweetest taste. It is precious communication from the divine.

One reason I have such a difficulty in absolutely believing in God without a shadow of a doubt is because it seems too good to be true. It would be like having my deepest desires met all at once. That just doesn't line up with my life, therefore it is difficult to believe I could be the recipient of such a great gift. Oh that it would be true!

We as humans desperately need hope. Why? And how did we get ourselves into this predicament?

God Judges And Its A Good Thing

If God were not angry at injustice and deception and did not make a final end to violence–that God would not be worthy of worship... The only means of prohibiting all recourse to violence by ourselves is to insist that violence is legitimate only when it comes from God... My thesis that the practice of non-violence requires a belief in divine vengeance will be unpopular with many... in the West... [But] it takes the quiet of a suburban home for the birth of the thesis that human non-violence [results in the belief in] God's refusal to judge. In a sun-scorched land, soaked in the blood of the innocent, it will invariably die... [with] other pleasant captivities of the liberal mind.

- Miroslav Volf Exclusion and Embrace: A Theological Exploration of Identity, Otherness, and Reconciliation

Too Bad We Have To Have Police Officers

I was driving down Hwy 16 today and saw a State Patrolman who had pulled a car over. As the officer leaned forward from his position near the back right passenger door to peer into the front passenger window at the driver, I'm sure the driver had no idea the officer had his right hand reached around behind him clutching his gun. First of all, how scary is it to know that when a cop is contacting you he has his hand on his gun just behind his back. But what's even more scary is the fact that there is actually a job out there where you have to have your hand on your gun every time you talk to someone.

Still Livin' The Dream

I had a wonderful day today with my daughter, Bentley (a.k.a. "The Beebs", a.k.a. "Beebers", a.k.a. "Bee Baas"). We turned on the new La Roux album and danced for about an hour (not an exaggeration). We then sat on the ground and rolled a racket ball back and forth. I actually really enjoy rolling the ball back and forth. Don't get me wrong, I like dancing with her too (until I'm exhausted) but there is something about throwing the ball that gets this big little boy excited. After we rolled the ball we layed on our backs and I threw the ball in the air. This only lasted a couple of minutes as she was too antsy.

At about 5:30 or so she said she was hungry so I asked her if she wanted to help me shuck corn. She replied yes even though she had no idea what I was talking about. Leaf by leaf I pulled back so she could grab ahold of it and she pulled them off and piled the husks in a pile on the kitchen floor.





5 corn on the cobs went into a pot to boil and we went out, threw some burgers on the BBQ, swept the deck and watered the plants.

Finally the burgers were ready as well as the corn so we saddled up the highchair and served up the food. I asked her if she'd like to watch a show while we ate and of course "yes" was her reply. I asked myself, what would be a good show for us? I was hoping for a cartoon but had to settle with A-Team. Lets just say A-Team is a little much for a 23 month old little girl (I wish I had a photo of her face as the A-Team played. She stopped mid chew and watched as the tyrant in the show shot guns in the air and yelled at the helpless towns people.). We then moved on to the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. That was boring and by the time it actually started playing we were done eating and it was almost 7 - BATH TIME!

Bath time was cool until she dumped a cup full of water in my lap. I have to admit there were a couple of times that I had to take a breath due to the fact I just wanted to ask her why she was being so difficult but then I did the math - tub full of water + tired 2 year old = water everywhere and crazy dad. Duh.

7:15, dance party again but this time its a "Diaper Dance" and she was on her own while I cleaned up some things. It was at this moment that I was struck by a profound thought - don't leave her to play by herself. I would have all the time I needed to clean up after she layed down for the night. Seize the moment, there are a limited amount of Diaper Dances and pre nigh-night routines, don't let this on slip away. I walked over and turned the music off and asked her if she'd like to read a story in her Bible with Dada. "Yes" was again the reply. I love cuddling with her on our two seater couch. She lays with her binky and bobby (bunny) near the back rest cushions and I lay on the outside and read her Jesus Storybook Bible. We read about God's creative power and how He made the world and everything in it and how he loves, most of all, His children.

7: 40 and off to bed and I rocked her in the rocking chair that is in the corner of her room. We prayed for a number of people as she said their names. I set her in her crib at about 8 and kissed her head goodnight.

See, I told you, I'm living the dream.

Trading The Beautiful For The New

I read a really interesting blog post by Dori Monson where he asked a very provocative question. It was a question that I believe put into question the richness of our culture... at least the future richness. Here it is...

"It's one of the most famous photographs ever. On V-J Day - August 14th, 1945, a joyous sailor dipped down a nurse in Times Square and kissed her.

The picture was featured on the cover of Life Magazine. One of the central figures in that photo - kissee - Edith Sharin - died Wednesday at the age of 91.

But that makes me wonder: with newspapers and magazines struggling as industries, and as they move to digital platforms, will our generation produce iconic, lasting photographs?

Some of the most famous images were taken long ago. The Marines raising the flag at Iwo Jima, the napalmed child in Vietnam, the Beatles crossing Abbey Road... I can't cite too many iconic photographs from the last decade. The Falling Man on 9/11 being a notable exception.

In many, if not most, events, video has replaced still photos as the chronicle of the moment. What do you think, especially with newspapers and magazines dying, will the years to come produce memorable, lasting still photos?"

The idea of losing the iconic photograph rummages up the feelings of movie "The Last Samurai". Are we willing to trade the beautiful for the new?

2010 World Cup

Football (soccer) is definitely what planet Earth is playing. When I look at the Teams & Groups tab for the World Cup, there are countries from Uruguay to the Ivory Coast to Cameroon playing!

I think I secretly find some satisfaction that the USA is just mediocre. Don't get me wrong, team USA is MY team!!! I just wonder if its not an accurate picture of world competition when the USA dominates the Olympics in basketball, or even the fact that we say the New Orleans Saints are the best Football team in the world (this year). I mean, who else is even playing football in the world? Doesn't say much to me really.

But when the World Cup happens, thats when the countries of the world really put their chips in the pot and we see who has what it takes. In these arenas and on these fields it doesn't matter who has the biggest nuclear arsenal or the greatest GDP. What matters is who will be standing in the end.

The Odd Drivers

Two kinds of drivers always catch my attention:

1. The driver with a million bumper stickers on the back of their car (their bumper if you will). Mostly these are left leaning political stickers. It always cracks me up, especially when the stickers are way out there.

2. The driver with a million stuffed animals in their rear window dash. I don't know how someone begins collecting stuffed animals and putting them in their car but its always an odd sight.

Deer And Shiny Things

I wonder why we get stoked about deer and shiny things. Hmm.

Harry Potter vs Wal-Mart

Why doesn't the mainstream Christian culture call for boycotting Wal-mart like they did Harry Potter? Thats just plain shameful.

Among others:

http://wakeupwalmart.com/facts/

http://www.walmartmovie.com/facts.php

The Gentle Bite Of Apathy

I was listening to the News on the radio today while driving home when a story came on about a woman who was shot to death by her son-in-law. They announced that they were going to air the woman's 911 phone call that was recorded just moments before she died. They advised that it would be disturbing.

All in a split second my sense of being overwhelmed by the darkness that looms so large in the world began to argue with my desire to confront suffering and evil in the world. Normally my desire not to hide my face from the reality of evil would prevail but not this time. I chose to turn the radio off. And only moments after I turned it off I felt the strangest sensation. It was so much easier to sit in silence than to listen to the voice of a desperate woman pleading for her life.

It was then I realized it... apathy, in that moment, was the best feeling in the world. It was like taking a drug and easing into a false reality. Similar to the way a hypothermia victim longs to sleep or how a drowning victim peacefully and willfully slips away after their struggle for air is conceded. Apathy is cunning and woos, yet its bite is poisonous.

Trigger Fingers And Truth

I was walking down the streets of Seattle last night with some friends when I was approached by a young street artist, and asked if I would like to hear his latest piece of work. He said it was a poem about Truth to which I replied, "I'm giving you fair warning, I am going to be extra critical if you're going to tell me its about Truth beforehand." He barely acknowledged my comment before he was off to the races. Simply being passionate and theatrical may have sufficed for the average Bell Town bar hopper that night but he had run across the rare seeker who saw delivery more as garnish instead of the sustainence. He finished, asked me for money and when I declined he graciously thanked me and was on his way. After he left I noted that his new poem reminded me of the terrorists on TV shooting their AK-47's at will and randomly in the air. The passion and theatrics were there but if you're going to claim there is a target in Truth before you begin then please, please shoot at a target.

Let us be a culture with a Target and let us take aim with such depth and richness that our breath like fingers reaches out and strokes the hearts of our listeners!

Where Innocence And Suffering Meet

I pulled up to an intersection yesterday with Bentley in the back seat. We stopped at the light on 38th and Pac Ave and there was a homeless woman on the corner in a chair. She was looking down at the ground and muttering to herself. I looked up at Bentley in my mirror and saw her leaning forward past her little head support peering inquisitively out the window at the woman. First Bentley waved at her, then she waved and quietly said, "hi". I looked back at the woman who did not look up from the ground then back to Bentley. Bentley made a couple more attempts before the light turned green and as the traffic slowly began to move again Bentley leaned farther forward to hold her view as long as she could. When she could not see the woman anymore she rested back in her car seat quietly.

The homeless woman probably isn't greeted with such a "hi" very often and Bentley just doesn't understand suffering. I felt compassion for both girls.

My Child

I wonder if my love for amusement park rides is just a way to be some kind of a child in some kind of strong arms flinging me about like a dad flings his daughter.

Why Do You Do It?

On the tee of the 6th hole you are surrounded by douglas fir trees, old giants playing London Bridges with the golfers. The sun's fingers reach the elevated tee box like spears and seasoned the ground. It is a lovely place to be. We took turns teeing off and as the last golfer swung their driver in practice a thought suddenly flooded my mind. The sun was shining on our feet, and because the sun was shining on our feet it was not shining on the other side of the earth. What was happening on the other side of the earth? While we enjoyed being bathed in luxury, others were in that same moment suffering.

What does this call for...

READ THIS LINK! (the reality of these photos are unsettling)

Filter the politics if need be but do not miss this.

Why do we live the way we live? Why?

Livin' The Dream

The other day I went into Starbucks to meet my friend Coby. When I entered I saw an old friend from high school behind the counter making coffee. I went up to her and said hello. As we did the talk that people do when they haven't seen each other in years I mentioned that I had seen another good friend of ours on Facebook. I noted that she had moved to Hawaii some time ago. We both agreed Hawaii fit our other friend quite well. Then she said to me, "Yeah, James is livin the dream. She's lived all sorts of places, done all sorts of things". As I heard that jealousy flooded my heart like one of those volcano science projects. I wanted to live the dream. I wanted to have all kinds of freedom to do whatever I wanted to do! I said it was nice seeing her and went and sat down with Coby.

Later that day I began to think about our conversation. I thought about how I became so jealous of my friend in Hawaii. It was like a hypnotist snapping their fingers near my ears when I finally realized, no I'm the one living the dream. I get to experience true love instead of transient love. I have two girls with hair more beautiful than any sandy beach and eyes more awe striking than any blue lagoon. I have a beautiful wife who is more valuable than any ocean treasure, who loves me deeply and cares for me greatly. I have a daughter who is more precious than any tropical island seasoned with palm trees and waterfalls and every time she looks me in the eye I can hear her saying, "dad, you're my best friend". I'm living the dream.

Amirsoul Drum n Bass

Just a couple tunes I've written while writing Drum n Bass.

Cadence Souls by Amirsoul


Things I Know by Amirsoul

Glass Screens And Deep Needs

Oh how we love our fantasy's, our alternate worlds! We plug them into our brains every night like we were entering the Matrix. Through an endless supply of varying realities we roam the channels like a child does a candy store, mouth watering with anticipation and appetite. Action, adventure, romance, comedy, blood, sex, drugs and rock n roll all at our disposal, all available to live out in our minds. Our heroes rotate like Baskin & Robins' flavor of the month to the rhythm of our hearts pendulum. Tick - during the 8 o'clock hour my beautiful doctor will heal me of the day's wounds, Tock - during the 9 o'clock hour my strong secret agent will save me from all that could happen tomorrow, Tick - in the 10 o'clock hour my sexy lover will sweep me off my feet this evening and ease my loneliness, Tock - finally at 11 I will be glad to know someone who knows someone and we will laugh with each other before I retire for the night alone.



We are a thirsty people but it is not our tongues that are parched. It is our souls. Let us drink! But let it be a water that lives and lasts forever!

A Wicked Desert And An Endless Fountain

Wishing for wells or something to hold water,
cracks without seeping or ooze.
Tainted delights, faucets constant flowing -
win after win I still lose.

Cisterns I've dug lately with blood sweat and tears,
I've worked my hands down to the bone,
in hopes of my searching to finally be quenched.
Instead I have nothing to show.

Like a fountain surrounded by a desert so wicked
And oh when I found this fountain to be endless
You would that I drink.
You would that I drink.

I Have Not Been Put Out

I have been like a smoldering flame. Yet by some compassion I have not been snuffed out. And what great compassion it is.

The Wizard of Oz, Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, and the Marlboro Man

My friend Dave used to smoke cigarettes. He smoked for a long time, like 20 years. Maybe that's not as long as my Grandpa smoked, but being that I'm 31 years old that would mean Dave smoked for 2/3 of my life. I think that's a long time. One day he became really sick. It was like he got Mono, though the doctors didn't say it was Mono they just said he was really sick. During that time he put smoking on hold. Can you imagine smoking when you have a sinus infection, pulling a deep drag and trying to blow it out your nose like a movie star? I can imagine the smoke being pretty pissed off after realizing its decided path was a dead end. It would certainly make you pay for your mistreatment. Dave was not so cruel, he kept his cigarettes in the package while the pathways were closed for construction. The only thing is, he was sick for a really long time. So while he was suffering at the hands of his sickness he was also, without knowing it, kicking his long time smoking habit. After Dave felt better, he began eating normal food again. To his surprise the food tasted different. He said the taste had more color now, more life. I guess smoking dulled the taste of food.

I bet Dave's experience was like in "The Wizard of Oz" when the Dorothy and Todo arrive in the Land of Oz and the film turns to color. That would be really weird to have your life go from black and white to full Technicolor. I wonder how that would feel. I think I would be super excited at first, like when the whole gang in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" enters Willy Wonka's lair with exuberance, searching the ins and outs of the place. I would want to go look at everything, one by one, first from a distance then as close as I could possibly get without my vision blurring. After a while though, I think I might feel a sense of grief. I mean all this time up until now I have been living in black and white when all along this beautiful color version was right around the corner, just a Tornado away. Then I might even feel sad or at least concerned that my friends and family may not know about this new land with so much more life than back home. I think I would certainly begin racking my brain as to how I would be able to create a bridge between black and white and color. I mean, how does one build a bridge between colors? Its not like you can just hire a government contractor to build another Narrows Bridge that goes from gray scale to the Pantone fan deck. The only reason I was even able to get there was because tornado came while I was shut out of the storm cellar, which I was scared about not to mention feeling a little sense of rejection. Then, once I did finally did find a place to hide, the tornado picked up the entire house I was taking refuge in and swirled it around for a while which scared the shit out of me again and caused me to whack my head and pass out. When I awoke the house had been placed back on the ground and as I stepped out my life changed forever - Oz. Simple as that. I don't know how to make a tornado!!! And even if I did, I wouldn't know how to control it to make it pick up a house that I somehow convinced all of my family and friends to be inside at the same time! Its a good thing the Land of Oz and my man Bill's Chocolate Factory don't actually exist.

Poetry & Facebook

Anis Mojgani = Amazing. I was sick this past week and was confined to my bed with my laptop on top of my lap and Youtube blazing away with poetry and Facebook. :)

Heres a favorite...

A Light and a Friend

I was in the midst of a dark cave today. A conversation between men and women all of whom had their minds made up concerning their view of God. We talked... we typed... we wielded our intellect as knights wield their swords. And the more and more we talked and typed the darker the cave became... until it was quite black. My vision grew faint as did my soul. Pupils dilating until they busted out of their constraints... still dark. "You fool!", they shouted from the shadow now engulfing the space in which we spoke. Still dark... so dark. And then so suddenly, like being snapped out of a dream into consciousness, a light appeared. A friend came from out of the darkness and kept this lonely soul company. He said...

"There are only three types of people; those who have found God and serve Him, those who have not found God and seek Him, and those who live not seeking or finding Him. The first are rational and happy, the second unhappy and rational, and the third foolish and unhappy."

He went on to say other things that I'm certain only I could hear and when I think back I wonder if only I could see this friend that stood along side me. God brought him to my side when I was in need.